My Story
I share this shortened story as a way for you to get to know me as a person and that I am not just another store selling stuff... and because
I hope for some I am a person you can relate to or share a similar journey with, but most of all I share in hopes of helping others know they are not alone in the struggles of infertility, reoccurring pregnancy loss, PCOS and struggles in general that life throws your way.
I married my high school sweet heart, soon after we realized we wanted to start the journey to growing our family. However, a year later I was diagnosed with PCOS (PCOD at the time) and originally told it meant I had cancer and needed to have a hysterectomy right away. My dreams of growing our family in the way I thought was most natural went out the window that day, but thankfully I sought a second opinion before going through an irreversible procedure. However, what I learned from that doctor was that I would never have children (as that is what they thought then) and there was very little known about PCOS. Thus began my journey in researching and blogging about my journey and faith.
Through this process I was blessed to meet other ladies with PCOS, known as Cysters (which is part of how I chose my store name). I found others that I could relate to and who enjoyed reading about my journey. Realizing how little PCOS awareness there was out there I made my first video, with the help of other cysters, to raise PCOS awareness. In time I started my journey in making jewelry specifically with Cysters in mind. Little did I know what started as a hobby would spark an interest, which quickly blossomed into a passion. Thus, giving birth to Soul Cyster Creations.
This started the growing process... I began making pieces related to infertility... to provide hope and inspiration during one's journey to motherhood. Bringing me to create little jars of baby dust, which became a customer favorite.
All the waiting, praying, hoping and putting my faith in God when it came to my journey of wanting to be a mom I was blessed with a beautiful miracle of finding out I was pregnant. After over 5 years, and being told I would never become pregnant, I had found out I was! I was beyond excited. However, shortly after 12 weeks I faced my first miscarriage. I felt utterly alone and found no solace in knowing I had no way of remembering my little one. I openly shared my journey with others. Later that year I experienced my second miscarriage. Being just before Christmas I was crushed with the idea of not being able to put Baby's First Christmas Ornament on a tree for them. After some shed tears I headed to my work room and created a memorial ornament for our tree and shared that moment with those following my journey. The response I received was astounding. I had no idea others felt the same and had wished they could have one on their tree. The requests came pouring in, which lead me to create memorial & remembrance pieces for my shop. They continue to me my best sellers.
My connections with fellow followers and new customers openly sharing my grief and pain with them became my silver lining to my painful journey. I realized through this process how much I loved making pieces I could relate to, but more than that I found the process therapeutic. Not only to myself, but to customers; and I realized then it was these connections that I cherished the most and still do to this day.
I found way to turn my pain and grief into a passion in helping others... through not only words and sharing my journey but providing others a creations to wear or display their stories in unique ways. Something to touch their souls for their unique journey in life. Through growing my store my journey has continued to unfold.....
Through the following years and more losses I went on to get help through a fertility clinic due to my reoccurring losses. After all the tests they could do they found no reason why I kept having losses... everything came back fine. Only guess was progesterone being too low. After several months of injections and progesterone supplements (various kinds) it came to the point that the injections being upped was not working and almost cost me my life. So IVF journey to growing our family ended. To this day I still have issues with my ovaries due to the fertility drugs.
This is when we put more thought in to adoption being our way to grow our family. However, we kept facing setbacks (due to military locations). We ended up knowing we would have to wait for the right place or for him to retire to pursue adoption. During his final 2 years we faced two more losses and had a moment of thinking maybe we were suppose to be just the two of us as a family and being the best mama and papa we could to our children in heaven. We prayed for direction and let God know we wanted whatever it was he wanted for us.
One day we went to the movies and saw a family come in. It was the cutest thing the mom and dad and their two kids were all wearing Dino pajamas that had hoodies on them with little horns. The kids were carrying their little kid trays full of popcorn and candies. It was in that instant that both of us looked at each other and said "I want that" we wanted to be able to make memories like that with a child and it was then we searched for an adoption agency and decided to go through with it. We felt we would do everything we could do adopt and let God be in control.
Whatever was meant to be would be. The adoption process was emotional and long. We had 8 flops (we call them where we weren't picked, had to say no or birth mom changed mind) and the week before we were chosen we had another loss.
The journey has been a whirlwind of a journey and while it was hard I would do it all over again to get to our rainbow baby. She is so much more than we could have hoped or prayed for. Things we thought we'd never get to experience we have. The gratitude I feel in my heart and soul can never be put into words. While our journey to being parents did not go how we had originally envisioned we know in our heart it is what was meant for us.
